Calling Card

Arrived back in London last night after two weeks holiday with my children. It felt strange to be back in the flat - seems there’s more space here than in the former marital home. My ex was in Amercia on some kind of shamanic quest. As mentioned previously money is tight but I took the kids camping, and for the rest of the time we hung out in the house, played cricket in the park, frsibee etc - went to the cinema, went on walks etc, simple pleasures and my children didn’t seem to mind. My daughter was invited to various sleepovers - and both her and my son and friends for sleepovers. Even cooked pancakes one day - and baked a crumble made from berries picked in the garden.

I thought/wanted to bring them to London for a few days but in the end I simply couldn’t afford it. London costs big time and they would have ended up in the flat in front of the tv or computer most of the time, so we stayed in the west country, enjoyed the fresh air.

Been back in the house was claustrophobic, it’s tiny for one and little privacy, but at ages 12 and 10 my kids are are gaining semi autonomy and are happy to go off an play with friends, which suits me as I got time to write- or read. I also kept up my yoga practice, abstained from coffee for a full fortnight - and still have not touched alcohol.

I have promised them if I make some extra money I will take them away, maybe later this year - certainly next year.

I also got an iPhone4, couldn’t afford one - but can I afford not to have one? Can sync all data with my Macboook Pro - I even have a screenwriting app for it, so it made sense. I need to be organised with contacts etc and it seemed the best solution - especially as my old crappy phone died on me.

So I am back at work today; I have a fairly easy week but really concentrating on the ‘business’ side of my first screenplay, provisionally called CROCODILE EYE. I have a meeting with a developer as part of a National Film and Television programme - have sent it to a couple of actors to read and for feedback so must chase their comments. My screenplay is a manageable 81 pages at the moment so space to develop plot and characters, the structure may also need some work. It felt good to take a break from it, I must now concentrate all my efforts on selling/producing it as it may well be my calling card into the industry.

My new screenplay seems much easier to write, mainly because I took time to work on a structure, I am 12 pages in and the process has been incredibly easy. Having a structure as allowed me to concentrate on the characters and dialogue.

It has been a happy exercise in escapism so far as I am totally in the story and it’s a joy to return to it.

Apart from coffee there is nothing in the flat so I must source breakfast from outside - ie the staff canteen so going to go to work early. I am looking forward to cycling across London and picking up the vibe of the city again after my little west country sojourn.

Old Man and the Wood

My children are my inspiration. I am separated from their mother so time with them is precious. I have a girl and a boy, 12 and 10 respectively and they are wonderful, I am so proud how they have adapted to the new circumstances, they are bright, funny, creative and energetic. It helps that the marriage break up was amicable and I am still on friendly terms with their mother, despite our differences. I write this from the family home, she is away and is letting me stay here with them - I have also given up my flat in London for her when she needed it for a weekend. It’s that kind of relationship and not many couples are fortunate to have that understanding after a break up. When I have my children (every other weekend, as they live quite far from London) we have fun and stimulating times exploring London, going to galleries and exhibitions or simply hanging out. I enjoy showing them another world, different to their small market town in deepest Hampshire.

Last week we went camping together in Wareham Forest, Dorset. Like many families budgets are tight this year and it was all I could afford. No matter, we have been camping together for the last three years since the separation and always enjoy it. This time was a bit different. We stayed on a campsite with not much for entertainment apart from an outside heated outside pool. There were of course lots of walks to be had, bike trails etc (we didn’t take bikes) and we actually camped in the woods. The campsite was peaceful. It was a relief to be out of contact with the world for a few days - I switched my phone off, and of course left my Macbook at home so no emails, Facebook updates or twitter. The children were equally bereft of TV, computer, PSPs etc for four days - although my daughter kept her mobile with her at all times.

It was just the three of us and a pack of cards, cricket set, boules and a frisbee. These past four days were a simple joy. We spent time in the pool and indulging in all the above activities, hot chocolates at 10pm, stories, reading in the tent and lights out. We swam together and went on walks, I cooked dinner every night on the cooker - and because they are now at an age where they are more independent the children could go off and do their own thing without me; giving me some time to recharge.

I work as a journalist in London so quite a demanding job and it’s easy to suffer from information overload. I have also written one screenplay, which is in development and my time is constantly spent emailing pitches, obtaining feedback, editing, rewriting, reading screenplays etc etc.

On holiday I only took one book ( I usually have several on the go at once) Boredom by Alberto Moravia, an author I greatly admire, and a notebook. I also took the decision to not drink alcohol or coffee during this time - it is now over a week since I have imbibed either and I feel so much more energised. I drank organic tea while away and continued my yoga practice.

What happened next came as a surprise as while been fully engaged with my children over these four days away I came back with an outline for a new 90-page screenplay. The creative process was as such: I would wake early sit outside the tent with a brew for an hour or so alone with my thoughts and slowly and unforced ideas would come - characters, plot, scenarios etc. I should confess that the original story is an idea I already had wrote a mishmash of 90,000 a few years ago. Using this as my research I would slowly sketch out a structure, either sat by the pool while the children swam or simply snatching quiet moments. I didn’t force anything, sometimes I would read my book. The process was slow, at times I felt like Santiago in Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea, each day he goes fishing, even though he knows the likelihood of bringing in a catch is remote. He endeavours for something like 80 days (I forget) before he is rewarded, but even then his victory turns into a defeat of sorts as he has to wrestle with a giant Marlin and then when he kills it the fish is devoured by sharks.

Unlike Santiago I did not have to wrestle with my catch, ideas flowed naturally, sure I had blocks, felt like abandoning the idea thinking it was a waste of time, but in my own silent way I persevered with it and slowly the plot, characters, structure fell into place - I came back with a beginning middle and end of an original screenplay that I feel excited about.

Been around my children without doubt helped the process, but what I discovered is to the best way to work is simply go away, get out of your usual environment, keep it simple, have no expectations, avoid all distractions such as phone and emails etc and listen to your subconscious. After all writing is really thinking, and if you don’t catch anything this time maybe next time, or the next, like Santiago if you have to keep trying, it those that give up who ultimately come away with absolutely nothing.

Coffee and alcohol are optional; for me I felt like cleansing my body and mind. Both drugs have played a part in my creativity before, what I discovered is that they weren't essential to the process and I do feel so much better, clearer, sharper, I am also sleeping longer and deeper. I have my children for another week, and while back in the modern world I am continuing the vibe of writing when I can but my main priority is and always will be them: because without them I am nothing.