A work in progress...22

Having my first doubts about the book. After all the early momentum I seem to be running out of steam. It's starting to feel confused, I'm not sure if its making sense - What happens, why it happens? I need to ask myself these questions and try and keep it simple. I'm going to try and write another 30,000 words and hopefully all the bits will then fall into place. The only way to do this is bring the laptop with me to work and write on the train. I feel as though I just need to write the damn thing, not worry too much about the editing at this stage, just get all the foundations down. There are some good bits, of that I'm sure. One thing I'm not certain about is detail, how much to put in or leave out. It's trial and error, I guess. I want to try and get a first draft done by Christmas. I should just write for the joy of writing, and not worry about the bigger issues. I've been working on the book now for eight months so I must see it through to the end. I can't give up at this stage with 60,000 words written.
The Bank Holiday weekend was hot, with glorious sunshine - played in the pool in the garden with the kids most of the time. Had a great time, it was good to switch off.

A work in progress...21

Finished the magazine today and feeling inspired about the book. We have a long weekend as it's a holiday on monday in the UK and would like to get some writing done, although this may prove difficult as the kids and my wife will no doubt have other ideas. If the weather's good I may take them to the beach one day. I also hope to do some yoga, I feell I need warrior energy, to help me write - and I want to go out on my bike. Not sure how I'll fit everything in.
I stayed at Al's last night, where I went for week to write in the summer. It was good to see him and elizabeth. We went for a couple of drinks in Greenwhich and then went back to the flat for a few more beers, some good grass and The Who by Numbers. Made it into work realtively unscathed this morning and feeling sharp and inspired. I also feel like playing drums again - I have this urge to play in jazz band and be totally free of pressure and responsibility. I've just got paid and I'm totally skint, which is depressing. May have to take on some freelance work.

A work in progress...20

The family arrived back from their holiday last Thursday so I spent the weekend catching up with them. I took my children swimming, bike riding an too McDonald's etc and had a good time. I put the book on the back-burner, didn't even open the laptop all weekend. Talked about making an imovie about my wife, who's an artist and would make a fascinating subject, and would throw some insights into the creative process. Trying to set my book in the prestent, ie the last four months and write about real events such as the london bombings and LIve8.
This will give some athenticity to my main character, who suffers a breakdown which is precipitated by real events. It needs a bit of a rethink, and I'm struggling to bring all the disparate sections I've written into one narrative. However, if I get the core of the story right, everything else should slot into place. I have been writing it now for eight months, which is nothing, I know, but I can feel the nergy waning. This week I'm on deadline at work, so I'm not going to be able to do much work. I need to bring my laptop on the train with me and starting writing everyday again, and get at least one draft finished.
Woody Allen was filming in our office last week. Apparently his film is set in a newspaper office, so he used ours. Had my manuscript being ready I would have tried to pass him a copy.
Just writing this blog is giving me inspiration. I must keep going.

A work in progress...19

The writing's stalled a bit. I'm still working on the book almost everyday but not writing as much. I'm working on the relationship of the two characters, which is going to be short and brief, rather than anything longterm with history.

I had an amzing time in London. Went to bed about 6am on Saturday morning and then spent the rest of the day hanging out in a couple of bars and pubs in the Brick Lane area of London, reading the papers and chatting with James and Nikki. It's was great not to have to worry about the kids for once. I got home late on Saturday night and spent Sunday hungover on the sofa watching cricket. I feel guilty as I should have spent the time writing, but I got a lot of inspiration from the weekend, met some characters and experienced new stuff which helped me reconnect with that kind of scene. There was a real energy in the bars and clubs I went in, although the rave scene seemed slighty more tame than I remembered. It was a friendly vibe though, with more coke on the scene rather than ecstasy. James played a full-on 3-hour set, which was awesome, he had the dancefloor with him all the way, never let up. Respect.

As a result I've come back to the novel with renewed energy and will use some of the material I gleaned from the weekend.

A work in progress...18

On Wednesday met up with my friend James and his girlfriend Niki for a beer in Clerkenwell after work. The family are in Germany still and I'm missing them. I couldn't get a cheap flight out of London so I'm staying at home and writing. While they're away, I can't seem to concentrate. I've got a couple of days off and I spent the day in the garden listening to the cricket and working, but actually wrote very little. I have managed to work out a structure and timeline for the novel which has made it easier. I'm also trying to focus on the two main characters and their intense, physical and ultimately short relationship. James is a DJ and editor of a music mag. He was best man at my wedding, and is a talented and beautiful guy, with an equally talented and beautiful girlfriend. He's invited me to his gig at Turnmills on Friday night. I would love to see him play and also get a feel for the club scene, as my raving days are just a memory. I've also featured Turnmills in a scene in the book, so it would be good to go for research purposes. I intend to write all day Friday, get ready and go into London in the evening and stay over at James and Nikki's place in Bow. Its should be wild and stimulating. It's probably my one and only chance to see James play live. I'm really looking forward to it. I spoke to my wife, told her where I was going. She's totally cool: "Don't be over doing it and showing off," was her advice.

A work in progress...17

My wife and family have gone to Germany today for a holiday. They are staying at at a friend's parents' house in the hills near Cologne. It's a beautiful house in an idyllic setting and I wish I was going with them. But I've just had three weeks off and have to be back at work; bad timing. I have the weekend to slob out, ride my bike, write and do some yoga. I also want to catch up on some Hong Kong films, I have a stack of them to watch, mainly Wong kar Wai films. The book is going well, I'm working on the structure and it's starting to take shape. I should be pleased to have more time to work on it, but the truth is I'm missing my family. They are away for nine days. It looks like this year we are not going to have a holiday. The book is taking over my life, sapping all my energy and time.I may try and get a flight to Germany next weekend. I'll see how the writing goes.

A work in progress...16

Well the agent finally got back to me after almost two months. As soon as I saw the s.a.e. I knew that we would not be corresponding any further. His letter was quite polite, 'on balance' he didn't think he was the right agent for me...etc. He sent me a web link with a list of other agents and wished me well. I've sent my MS to another author friend for another opinion, and maybe she will be able to help with an agent. But maybe I'm jumping the gun, as the book is still not finished yet. Once it's complete I'm going to really concentrate on the publishing side, if I'm happy with the end result.

I've just got back to work after three weeks off, mainly spent at home writing. I stayed at my friends, Al & Elizabeth's for five days and was able to immerse myself in the work without any distractions from the family. Lewisham maybe off the literay map but the flat was ideal. As I mentioned previously I'm usuing its layout as the basis for the main charachter's flat so I got a real feel of the place. The flat is in a quiet side street and they have lots of Mark Rothko prints and photography on the walls. There's also lots of books and music and it was very close to Blackheath and Greenwhich. I practised yoga everyday, read and wrote, and cycled to Blackheath. London is such an inspiring city. I also had time to sit and think about the novel's shape and direction, so when I wasn't writing it was always at the forefront of my mind. The most extravagant think I did was rent 2001 Space Odyssey on DVD. There were some themes in the film that are similar to what I'm attempting to write, mainly composition, colour and symbols. And it was a decadent luxury to sit and watch it one afternoon when it was so hot outside, and absorb Kubrick's masterpiece and understand it for the first time, whithout falling asleep before the end. When I was leaving to go to London, my wife commented that my mood was as if I was going into hospital for an operation. I guess I was apprehensive about leaving the family, it felt really selfish and I was convinced that I was not going to be able to write anything while I was away. In the end I probably wrote about 15,000 words while I was there, and the novel in total is now at about 65,000 words; but doesn't seem nowhere near finished. It's still very disjointed, but at least I know in my head where it's going.