Still I write, what else can I do?

After all the talk of breaking up, we have decided to stay together - for the time being. My wife's main grief was she needed security for the family etc, and I agree and want to provide that security for them. The problem is that because of a few bad decisions and financial mismanagement on primarily my part we no longer have our own house. We rent at the moment, but really we should have our own place.

I have been working my hardest to try and get the cash together for a deposit, and is one of the reasons behind writing the book. One of the things that drives me is that I believe I will achieve some kind of redemption if it does get published and it may just make enough to buy a house. But primarily I'm writing it for my own sense of achievement and self worth, any financial success is a bonus. But wanting to provide for the family is a driving factor in all this, I work hard at my job, do extra work on a freelance basis etc to try and provide for them.

This crisis has brought up a lot of issues in our relationship and I'm not sure they can be resolved easily. I feel that first I have to somehow get a house, provide some stability then my wife and I can sit down and talk about our future. The rent on the house and my travelling costs are crippling us so I need to do something about reducing our overheads. The ideal scenario is to work from home, which could be an option in the not too distant future. My wife has also decided that her art work is not paying, considering all the time and effort she puts into it. This has been a major problem throughout our relationship, and I have helped and supported her as much as possible, but it just isn't working. She has decided to look for a job and devote all her time to the children.

The writing is still there, but losing the laptop is a major blow, I have to get it replaced as soon as possible. Now I have the desktop it's not so drastic, but the kids like to use it on a weekend, and rightly so, it was bought for them. I find that even if I scribble away on the train by the time I get home and had dinner its 9pm and I'm usually too tired to start writing.

I've just ran a credit check on myself and my record is surprisingly clean so I should be able to get a mortgage - whether it's sufficient to buy a house in the area we live is a different matter. My wife went to Totnes in Devon for the weekend and she thinks we should move down there. It's a new age community, property's fairly cheap and if I could keep my job and work from home I would definitely consider it.

Hoefully going to self publish a collection of poems in the next month, called Shredded Wheat. I'll look at publishing some on the blog.

My first week back has been exhausting as I've been interviewing candidates for the post of editorial assistant. I haven't done much writing and the self imposed deadline of having the book finished by Jan 19 - when I started it last year now looks fanciful. Still I write, what else can I do?